Sunday, September 25, 2011

I go out blogging, after midnight

I'm waiting for water to boil for a double strength cup of nighty-night tea.
The family has had a pretty challenging last 30 days, and I've been laying in bed for the last two and a half hours trying not to toss and turn, trying not to get up, and then deciding that there was no getting around it after I had one of those horrible acid-reflux burps that pretty much decide things for you.

In the last month, I've had a severe sinus infection, a mild case of pneumonia, my father in law has died after a long decline, yesterday my husband threw his back out cutting a pancake and my 3 year old had to be taken in for two stitches to the eyebrow after an encounter with a coffee table which had apparently not seen enough blood in its lifetime. I seriously look at this run on sentence and I hear Dan Baird trading in "I Love You, Period" for "Urgent Care Got Me Down."

I have so many other trivial stupid things to ponder on:
- I can't get up the nerve for the third time in 5 years to ask the woman who does the floors twice a month to stop using whatever it is that smells like corn syrup mixed with baby powder and White Diamonds. I'm just happy that the floors are less covered in splotches of milk sweetened with Froot Loop dust anymore.
- I am staring at a Xanax that I took out of my husband's prescription and considering that it is not right for me to be giving myself the third degree after the month I've had and the fact that I'm unable to sleep (!) tonight, and questioning whether I should be taking it at all. As soon as my nighty night tea cools down enough, the answer is yes, it's worth a try, and worst case scenario the coffee will be double strength tomorrow.
- My kids have more toys than I think I or my sisters could ever have possibly owned. Seriously, I just had the realization that anything I would have purchased them for Christmas... they already own. I never thought I'd be the parent that was so massively indulgent that I'd have this sort of issue. I always pictured myself as one step up from the "we rent all our dvds from the library" parents. I never considered that we'd run out of shelf room for volumes of Yo Gabba Gabba.
- If I were Tina Fey, this would all be 50% funnier, because it would be a famous person with flaws just like mine! you'd be relating to right now instead of a middle management 36 year old carrying an extra 10 lbs and a complex the size of Iceland.
- Less trivial, equally stupid: if my 4 year old would just gain enough weight that I didn't have to roll / tuck / sew / pin all of his shorts up, we might have less of an issue with nudity at daycare. Everyone thinks it's hilarious. It is; when it's something you're talking about that happened 3 years ago and/or it's not your kid dropping trou in Pre-K at nap time and getting you called in for parent / teacher conferences.

In conclusion, I'm taking a drug that doesn't belong to me with a 16 oz mug of hippie tea. If the right one don't getcha, the left one will.